gourmandized | IC Inbox

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WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, BARBARA. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 816.19.528.16 * wiggles has joined 816.19.528.16 <wiggles> Hello, this is Ima Wiggles. <wiggles> How can I get this machine to stop calling me Barbara? I don't go by that name anymore. <wiggles>** If you'd like to speak with me please leave a message!

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[And now they've reached the point where Ima can't help but wonder if he's putting her on after all. Finding her beautiful? She can believe that. Finding it hard to believe she doesn't hear that a lot...? That's very different.]

I think most people like flowers, just not when they're growing on fat pigs.

[OUCH. She's actually not being as hard on herself as she sounds; she's readily referred to herself that way before, and she'll do it again. This is, in her opinion, simply telling it like it is.]

And I don't mind being a "monster." The change is probably worse for normal people, but freaks can only get more freakish.

[If there was one thing to remember about Rei is that he is never one to simply say something, just to simply say it. Rei means every word he says, and it hurt him a bit to see the way that a friend would address herself. Sure, she was not the perfect ideal of a human body- but if she was happy with her weight that is the only thing that should matter! Not some hackneyed ideal of beauty based on other's views.]

Fat Pigs? I genuinely hope that you are not referring to yourself, Wiggles-san. As long as you are happy with yourself and the image that you portray then that is the only thing that should matter!

I really do hope that you have a better view of yourself then just that, there are so many different aspects to take into account then just physical!

I'm not insulting myself when I say these things, you know. I'm fine with being a big, fat pig. I even prefer me this way. My view of myself is just fine.

You're right when you say that's all that SHOULD matter, but society doesn't give a shit whether I like myself or not--it casts its own judgment. That's how I ended up working in a freak show.

According to Webster's Dictionary Pigs are animals that belong to the genus Sus family, and although your frame is less than petite the only familiarity I see with you and a pig is that you both are highly social and intelligent.

If it matters any Wiggles-san, I would never judge you based on sociality norms. I may not have been driven to join a freak show, but I understand how it is like to be judged by society. Rei is not a very masculine name nor my favorite colors and hobbies.

I know you mean well, Rei, but don't presume to tell me how I should or should not refer to myself. If I want to take the insults people have used against me and defang them, I have that right. Likewise, I'm a freak. I don't disparage myself by saying it; I was a professional fat lady and I had the time of my life.

Please don't mistake my flippancy for self-loathing--I feel great in my skin and I have a good life. And I'm happy to know you won't judge me based on petty things. I won't do that to you, either.

[Ack! Where... where did he go wrong? He was only trying to cheer her up and he really didn't mean to upset her with his encouragement. This is so unbeautiful!]

Ah! I am sorry, Wiggles-san. I really didn't mean to be presumptuous, I was just trying to cheer you up. I did not mean to upset you, and I will work hard on doing a better job with my encouragements. I am truly apologetic.

[It's okay, Rei. She's not upset with him, just mildly annoyed. The way she thinks of these things can be a bit strange to those outside the freak circuit.]

It's okay, I'm not upset. I just don't like beating around the bush, is all. I'm not "less than petite," I'm fat, and I'm fat because I stuff my face. And that's fine by me. If people decide that's reason enough to dislike me they can go pound sand.

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